Someday It's Gonna Make Sense

"After you clear your eyes
You'll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends
Someday it's gonna make sense"

A Wonderful Sunset at Tanghalang Makiling

If you think that there's something wrong with the world, then there's something wrong with you.

Project 25

To tell you honestly, I am not really excited about this internship process. For I know, it would be a reflection of two main thoughts; (1) if I learn enough for this kind of real-life application and, (2) am I prepared for this kind of life waiting for me outside my comfort zone. It’s not the practicum itself that I fear about before I started, maybe, it’s the answer to those reflections. Still, I continue entering United Coco Planters Bank General Insurance Co., Inc. (UCPB Gen). Special thanks for the effort exerted by Sir Michael Villadelrey. With his great help, we save time, effort, and money for we didn’t have to search any longer for our respective companies.

UCPB Gen is one of the largest and strongest non-life insurance companies in the country today. On January 1963, it has been established as Allied Guarantee Insurance Company, Inc., and since 1989 it has been wholly owned by United Coconut Planters Life Assurance Corporation (Cocolife). And it was then known as UCPB General Insurance Co., Inc.

And how’s my stay in UCPB Gen? First week of our on-the-job training went well though I can’t get used to the fact that I have to wear that usual f*cking corporate attire for 25 days. Then, good news, for the second, third, and forth week, I am no longer counting the remaining hours before going home. For this time, I’m filed up with workloads. By the way, I am designated at the Reinsurance Department (RI Dept) of UCPB Gen.

And I’m proud to say that I’ve learned so many things after entering a department I was not even aware of. The concept of reinsurance, as what I understand, is literally about insuring again. For example, a company named let’s say, Company XYZ, is insured to UCPB Gen for Php100, 000, 000.00. Since that amount is too big, UCPB Gen would find its partner company/companies called reinsurer/s to share with that insurance. There would be a certain percentage they would agree upon. Of course, the reinsurers will have its share on the payment of Company XYZ. But in case of loss, the reinsurers need to pay UCPB Gen (since UCPB Gen will initially pay the insured, the Company XYZ). And to make this very long story short, what I do as an intern is to monitor the payments of the reinsurers. The reinsurers, of course would request for some documents that will prove that there’s a loss, so I also monitor if they already received their documents. It’s not actually a hard task to do, but would take such a very long time to summarize all the balances, payments of respective reinsurers. It took me more than one week before I finalized my record on the lacking documents to be submitted to reinsurers for I have to check almost fifty (50) archfolders of UCPB Gen (from 1996-2012). And for constructive criticism, one thing I noticed why they find it hard to make a record of lacking documents for the reinsurers is the loss of documents due to unorganized filing system.  And of course, I can’t blame them for that since there are really lots of papers to work on.

I also appreciate the effort given by Ms. Jean Apostadero, my pseudo Supervisor who guided me in the Reinsurance Department. With her help, I am confident to present my report on Payments and Balances of Loss Recoveries to my supervisor and to the head of RI Dept.

It’s amazing to know that the United Coco Planters Bank General Insurance Co., Inc. (UCPB Gen) will sort of give us transportation allowance. About that allowance that will be provided to us by the company, I am not sure if it’s really PhP100.00 per day since we don’t have any formal conversation about it. But that’s the rough estimate, I supposed.

In this process, I have learned more of MS Excel since it’s widely used in many departments in an insurance company. And I owe my sort of excel expertise to Math174 and Math175. I suggest that there should be another course that would emphasize the use of MS Excel including the Macros. For in my experiences, programming language such as Fortran and Scilab are not that used widely. And for the Applied Mathematics curriculum, I think, the Math Department should offer some courses focusing on nonlife insurance. Just a suggestion! So that Amat students would be more flexible on different fields.

But more than those knowledge, what I learned more importantly is the importance of social interaction. From that experience, I can proudly say that my pakikisama was then tested. Sooner or later, I know I’ll be working with that kind of environment. All of us should bare in mind that we can’t do everything just by ourselves. And sometimes, we need those people who would guide us to the right path we should take.

I can say that this practicum is more of an experience than a work. I may not yet still be prepared for this kind of life but I know, someday, whether I like it or not, I will be. But for the mean time, let me first enjoy my hopefully one year remaining stay at eLBi.

Sunset

Undeniably mesmerized by the beauty of sunset, everyday

*Wishlist*

Dahil napapanahon ang graduation, hayaan akong magsabi ng mga bagay na gusto kong mangyari bago ako magtapos -- may it be on time or in God's time. :D

1.) Gusto kong makapunta sa Peak Two
           Taga-elbi na nga ako, 'di pa rin ako napapadpad doon. Gusto ko, mala-hiking namin sa nasc10 ang pagpunta ko roon 'pag nagkataon. :)

2.) Pangarap kong makapag-cheerdance.
           I'm not a good dancer. But who cares? Pangarap ko 'yan ever since e. HAHAHHA

3.) Makapag-inom ng seven straight days.
            Just for fun and for the record. :)

4.) Makapag-bar kasama ang sisses. Wew!
             Matagal na naming plano 'yan nila Gian, 'di lang lagi natutuloy. Who knows, pagbigyan ako, matupad this year 'yang pangarap na 'yan!

5.) Makapasa ng at least one actuarial exam.
             Kahit paano naman, may pangarap pa rin ako para sa kinabukasan ko. Kung 'yung exam lang ang sukatan ng pagiging isang magaling na Amath student, major in Actuarial Science, 'taena. Sa inyo na 'yang exam na 'yan! Gusto ko lang pumasa para sa may mapatunayan sa sarili ko. Hindi dahil nagmamagaling ako. Kaya humanda ka *insert number here* na actuarial exams!!! =)

6.) Maitatag ang MunSci org.
            Kung tutuusin, hindi nga maitatag dapat e, mapagtibay. Gusto ko naman e. Handa akong tumulong. Hindi ko nga lang kayang ibigay ang buong-buo ko. Bukod sa pagiging estudyante, may mga bagay lang na kailanma'y hindi ko magagawang bitawan. :)

7.) Maging mabuting Harmonya member.
          Maybe that would encompassed all what I dreamt about for Harmonya. Or should I say, that's where I should start.

8.) MAGING MASAYA AT WALANG PAGSISISIHAN :D

Thank You Note Number Two

For the greatest idiot I have ever known.

Yes, he's indeed Kit Manlangit. And if you may wonder why this note is alloted for him, well let's just say, before he left Los Banos, he has taught me many things in which I have never imagine.

Way back years ago, when I first met my beloved organization, or should I say, my second family by the name Harmonya, I was so eager to become it's trainee. But when I was already there, second thought ponders me. I suddenly hesitate to become a part of it. Why? Maybe I was a little bit turned off by their lifestyle? Errr. And to avoid going to that 'turn-off-thing' specifically, it's just that, they do things I never thought I will do (considering I am a grade-conscious individual that time). I even came to the point that I quit. But this Kit Manlangit who happens to be our MemCom Head that time, believed that at some time, I'll be back. And he's definitely right! And look at me now. Here I am now..

Who would have thought that after becoming a quitter, I would be this close to him? Never did I foresee and never did I look forward to. I was just amazed by how things go that way. He is now one of those people whom I share my greatest secrets with, even if know that he's my most chismoso brad. Sometimes when I feel so much pressure, guilt, anger, or any of that kind, I just run to his apartment at La Ville, drowning myself with foul words and unreasonable gestures. Di pa ko tapos magkwento, ang dami na niyang ginigiit. And I could never attest that the best words of wisdom I have heard in the past 2 years of my life, came from a mouth of a stupid guy. Seriously. He made me realized many things about life and most especially about the organization. 

Maybe we've come this closer because when I long for an older brother figure, Kuya Kit was there. And he was there all the time. And since he's the youngest in his family, he also looks up to taking care of younger brothers and sisters. Well, that was actually my theory. Anyway, he  is really the most bad influence person I have ever known, imagine, *insert proofs here*. Pero may mga oras naman na matino siya. Swear! 

If you may asked me why is this written here, well, I don't think I have the guts to say these things to him, personally. Ayoko kasi ng drama lalo na kapag may naalis. And for sure, he doesn't want it either. 

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Kitman, just so you know, together with Boss and my batchmates, you're the reason why I came back for Harmonya. And probably one of those uncountable reasons why I held on this tight. 

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano kita mapasasalamatan -- sa lahat ng tawanan, inuman, iyakan, at higit sa lahat, sa katangahan. Hindi ko rin lubusang matanto kung bakit ako napabilang sa listahan ng mga tanga mo, pero gusto ko nalang magpasalamat. Ni hindi ko rin malarawang-diwa na aalis ka na ng Los Banos. Sobrang nakalulungkot. And you know what makes it worse? 'Yun 'yung katotohanan na aalis ka kung kailan sobrang napalapit na ako sa'yo. Hinihingi ko ng paumanhin kung nalulunod ka na sa drama habang binabasa ang akdang ito. Minsan napaisip nalang ako, may makakasama pa kaya akong magpapakaadik sa paglalaro ng indiana jones? O di kaya nama'y sasakay din sa mga katangahan ng isang Didi? Mayroon pa kayang makikinig kahit anong oras sa mga walang kwentang ginigiit? Siguro nga marami pa o marami na. Marami pang darating na Master T at marami nang Kitman sa buhay ni Didi. Ngunit walang makakapantay sa katangahang naituro at naiparamdam. Lilipas ang panahon, pero 'di kukupas ang bawat samahan. Salamat sa paniniwala-- isang bagay na kahit ako, minsan, hindi ko maipataw sa aking sarili. At kaakibat ng paniniwalang iyon, ang konsepto ng paninindigan. Sa panahong, walang gustong magsalita, may isang Kit Manlangit na nagbigay-daan upang kilalanin ng karamihan ang kapangyrihan ng pagsstand up.

Kung tutuusin walang dapat panghinayangan. At kung may dapat mang ikalungkot, hindi iyong pag-alis datapwat, 'yung mga bagay na hindi nasabi at naiparamdam bago umalis. Hayaan mo kong paulit-ulit na magpasalamat sa'yo Kuya Kit halintulad ng isang nagtapos na walang humpay na nagpapasalamat sa unibersidad na nagturo sa kanya ng maraming kaisipan. Subalit ang kaibahan lang, ang mga naibahagi mo, ay ang mga leksyong hindi kayang matutunan nino man sa loob ng apat na sulok ng silid-aralan. Tangna, parang sinasamba na kita sa post na ito ah. Lintek. HAHAHA.

Basta, Kuya Kit, lagi kang may babalikan, dahil hinding-hindi mawawala ang Harmonya. Mawalan man ng tao sa unang unit sa La Ville, magkaroon man ng sequel ang Hitman: Kakasa, Gaganti, o kahit maging topnotcher man si Kitman sa nth take niya ng board exam, hinding hindi maglalaho ang pamilyang pinaghirapan ninyong buuin. Sobrang mamimiss kita. Hahaha. Malipas ang ilang taon, babalikan ko ang sulat at himig na ito, at baka hanggang sa panahong iyon, hindi pa rin nagtatapos ang walang humpay na pasasalamat. *Labyuuuuu.

Thank You Note Number One

[For my supposedly-super-crush! :D *HIHIHI* ]

When I was a trainee there's this one person in Harmonya that I always look up to. He is not actually the most handsome brad nor the most inspiring one, but I always long for that day that I would be able to be that close to him. Hahaha. For he is one of those I really admire. And to name him, he is actually my forever PubComm Head, Jade Cesar Balita.

Months passed, and I know that our bond become so much tighter. As in nagpakafeeling close na ko kahit na sobrang naiitrita siya. Getting to know him better gives me a sense of comfort during the times I am with this brutal guy. Yes, you see it right. He is really brutal. He tends to hurt me physically. How mean! Anyway, even though he is that type of person, I still used to admire his principles in life.

I remember the moment when I am under our reporting period (that was my first encounter with his awesome hair). I was actually the first one who reported to him. E di ito namang si Kuya Jeyd, makapag-expect na okay ako. E ang kapal ng muka ko, di ko siya kilala. Kasalanan ko ba? Well, partly. E kasi naman... And that leads to his bad impression towards me. During that time, I can't accurately define what I was feeling. I don't know, I used to hate him for commanding me to recite the preamble backwards. Because I'm so great, I didn't do it. How could I? Ngunit magkaganoon pa man, noon pa lang hinangaan ko na ang pananalita at paniniwala ng isang Jade Cesar. 

Kung usapang PubComm lang din naman, halos 'di rin ata nagtutugma ang mga pinaniniwalaan namin. Pero sa kanya ko natutunan ang ilang importanteng bagay bilang lider. Si kuya jeyd kasi 'yung tipo na head at member na marunong manindigan sa kung ano 'yung tingin niya ay tama. Sa walang hanggang rants na narinig ko sa kanya, ni hindi man lang ako nainis, tinamad makinig, o di kaya nama'y nainip sa mga ginigiit niya. 'Yung tipo bang, matutuwa ka nalang kasi may nakakaisip pala ng mga ganoong bagay-- mga kaisipang, hindi mo maririnig sa isang taong walang pakielam sa buhay. Mga rants ng isang taong alam mong nagpapahalaga at pinahahalagahan. 

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I will definitely miss you Kuya Jeyd! :)

Kagaya nga ng nakalagay ng note ko sa'yo: sobrang proud ako sa'yo lalo pa at nakasama ka sa HS (na hindi ko man lang alam). Malay mo, ako rin pala next year. Joke. Hahaha. Sobrang mamimiss kita, Mr. Glenn Alexander Cano, este Mr. Jade Cesar dela Cruz Balita. 'Di ko malilimutan na ikaw ang kauna-unahang hinangaan ko sa Harmonya. Ikaw ang inspirasyon ko sa pagiging PubComm Head. Salamat Kuya Jade! Saludo ako sa'yo! Ikaw ang nagtatak sa kaisipan ng karamihan ng bagong depinisyon ng paninindigan. Nakatatak pa rin hanggang ngayon sa isipan ko ang mga oras na pinakikinggan kita noong tumakbo ka bilang presidente. Napatigil nalang ako noon, at napaisip. Mga prinsipyong nabitawan ng isang Jade Cesar 'di dahil sa tagal ng kanyang pananatili sa Harmonya, bagkus, dulot nang kanyang nag-uumapaw na pagmamahal para dito. 

Salamat sa dalawang taong pagkakaibigan Master Jade!! Walang humpay na pasasalamat!!! :) *Labyuuuu.

When The Search Is Over

Our SPCM1 instructor asked us to describe our dream guy. And yes, this is what I actually passed:

I always dream of a man who possesses the characteristics that I am frustrated to have—someone who could play either the violin or the piano well (but so much lucky if he plays both), has an angelic singing voice, sporty enough, a good leader and speaker, and of course, an engineer of any kind. Way back years ago, that was indeed my dream guy. And I always look forward for that day that I would be able to meet him.

But as I grow older, and I supposed, think maturely, all those qualities paved way to my new description of a dream guy. Now, I don’t even care about the physical aspects nor the above-mentioned characteristics. Probably, those would be big bonuses to my self-declared exam called The Searching/Waiting Test.

In case I haven’t met him yet, or if by chance, I knew him but not aware it was already him, I envision that my dream man today is already the guy whom I would love to promise my forever with.

He is someone who is mature enough to handle the immaturity within me; who would love to hear my corny jokes, who would bare at my usage of harsh words, and who would ride on my mood swings. He is someone whom I would share my principles and ideals without me, having a second thought. It’s as if I won’t feel any awkward moments whenever we were together. He need not to be the guy who would agree to all my likes. He is someone who would definitely argue with my thoughts whenever he felt that strong need to do so, and change my points-of-view, for the better. He would open my eyes to the beauty I don’t even care to appreciate way back to the times he wasn’t there. Someone who may not sing well but his voice would remain in my memory. And maybe, if ever I can’t remember the lyrics, I wouldn’t dare to forget the melody of what he sang. He may be that person who is not taking the same path as I am, but at some point in time, I know exactly that we were staring at the same direction. In short, he is someone whom I would love to spend any of my time with—growing old and growing up, maturely and unselfishly.

My descriptions may sound so much vague, his face and qualities may be unclear to my vision, but the feeling I am looking forward to feel? It’s so clear to my senses. And to quote the Survivor, “And when I look into your eyes, I can see forever..” By the time I already found out it’s true meaning with his help, then that I could finally say, the long search is finally over.. 

Game Over

Paminsan-minsan ay naglalaro Pag-ibig lang ang di ginagawang biro
-Apo Hiking Society