TAMBAYERS

What you do with your life is just half of the equation. The other half, the more important half, is who you were with when you're doing it. -Post Grad

And I say, What I do in my college life is more of organization stuff and academics, but I am missing the starting part of the equation.

Well it's summer time. And I just remember last year's summer classes. Funny how things changed. I am still in the same place, same college, same routines, but with a very different group of people. I miss how things were, before major changes came into the picture. It is not that I don't like what's happening in the present time. In fact, I love having another set of people who shares most of their lives with me. Nevertheless, if having another means losing the old ones, then I should ask God thousand times to have both.

I miss everything about Tambayers. I miss the hugs, the advices, the dinner dates, the teasing moments, and most especially I miss you guys -- the people I used to know. Yeah right, the people whom I used to know and at the same time, the people who used to know me. I can't even say that I still know all of you just like before. Way back then, every time there's something that happens with you, I was one of those people who would knew it already. Now, I had to ask for nth times before you could open it up with me. Things happened so fast that I can't go on with the flow. I want to cope with everything I missed. But every time I try to do so, it turns out the other way around. It hurts being with you, yet all you can do is to tease me and said other 'unacceptable' stuff. Sometimes, I just laugh and smile just to hide everything. And then I knew, I owe you so many things.

Sorry for those times that I can't make myself available for Tambayers. Sorry for being dependent to some of you in terms of academics.And most especially, sorry if you think I value our friendship less than that of my other commitment. Sure, this apologies would neither make you feel better nor bring us to what we were before. But still, I would not take the risk of not apologizing at all. 

Thanks to those who understand and to those who try to understand. It's been a tough nine months for me -- every night, every performance, every exam, every class hours, every time I see both parties at the same time at same place. For whatever I lost, I should not regret it. I should not regret for the things I have done. All I want to do is save what I still have before it's too late.

Someday, I'll have the courage to say these things personally. But for the mean time, just let it stay here in my blog. I love being with you. I want to be with you just like before. And to quote Sugarfree, Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo natangay. Siguro ganoon lang talaga ang nangyari. I may be Didi for others but I will always be that Dianne/Dia you cared about. 

And to make the very long note short, I love you guys! And I always will be.